I love to crossdress and ruin clothes: mayo

The Splosh website started a Dressember for CD's to do something messy so I thought I ought to play the part. I decided Davina could do some cookery showing how to prepare a three course meal easily and with no mess (right!). We start with Davina in her best suit.

We start with some nibbles. Little sticks of celery with some ketchup dip and some mayo dip.

Opps. A bit too much but never mind it will wipe up and nothing on the suit.

Next some cooked pasta in a tomato sauce. Plenty of sauce for that rich taste. Again a few drops on the floor but nothing on the suit.

Now we start on the cake. A simple sponge base covered in two jars of raspberry jam. Followed by a block of ice cream. Then another sponge covered in two jars of lemon curd. Then another block of ice cream topped with chocolate sauce. What could possible go wrong?

A little ice cream on her new shoes (actually are new shoes bought especially for this sequence as a request from a viewer who also picked the clothes) but it soon wipes off.

Next come the home baked bread. I left it proving in the oven but when I turned it out onto the floured board it seemed a little wet.

Oh dear more on the shoes and some flour on the front of the skirt but most of it cleaned off.

Now I made some whipped egg whites for a meringue and I will show you how stiff they are by holding the bowl over my head.

Oh dear. I seem to have made a mess. Oh well in that case I might as well carry on and use everything.

What a mess. It took a long time to clear up the kitchen. Needless to say I got a bit more messy whilst doing it but that's another story.

I bought three matching outfits some time ago and have been wondering how to use them. Eventually I came up with an idea which actually took a whole day to film as you will see.
The story goes that Davina comes home tired and falls asleep at the ktichen table where she has what she thinks is a dream.
In the dream the devil appears and tells her to go shopping and buy a designer outfit, change into it at the roadside and come back and cover that outfit with whatever is on the table. Then she has to hang the outfit outside on a clothes stand before going and showering and changing and doing it all over again.
After the third time she wakes up to find the devil has gone but is horrified to see the messed up clothes actually hanging outside. She rushes off to the A1 where she discovers all her discarded clothes in a layby. How embarassing!
I started off filming the various outfits walking through the house and outside, then I filmed the clothes being selected from the wardrobe. Next came the washing and make-up before getting round to the mess. Obviously I had to clean the kitchen down after each session which takes some time. Finally I filmed the roadside layby session.

Here you see Davina asleep at the table and the devil appearing for the first time.

I chose to use my wife's clothes for the outfits to be discarded as it gave it a greater element of danger, as if it needed any!

Here you see Davina going off to the shops mfor the first time and me walking out the front of my house dressed.

Arriving home in the first new outfit Davina is conffronted with a bowl of custard and she proceeds to spread it over every part of her outfit.

Then it's off upstairs for a showr and a change. I decided to show this as slighlty surreal highlighting only parts of the process like the water on the back or the clothes being selected and put on.

Now we see Davina in the second set of my wife's clothes off to buy a second copy of the same clothes.

This time she returns to find tomato ketchup waiting for. Again the whole outfit gets coated. Then its off for another session in the shower and new clothes. Filmed perviously as already mentioned.

Another outfit from my wife, a dress this time, sees Davina off for yet another shopping trip.

On her return mayo is waiting and again the outfit is coated before heading off for a shower and a change of clothes.

Finally the last outfit of my wifes, picked as I knew I was going out in public for real.

Then I had to film the messy clothes outside which took some time to set up and clear, all the time dressed as Davina.

This is where Davina rushes off to look in the layby. As I ran out of the drive I almost bumped into a girl walking her horse past. Luckily is was too quick for her to see I was a male (I think) but more importantly she wasn't local.

here I am driving down the A1.

Arriving at the layby I set about filming the last sequence all the time watched by lots of passing traffic. Now they might not have known what I was doing but the camera would have made most look. I have to say I was charged up by this time.