The burglar

 I love a story to my mess and destruction and so I came up with this.
A burglar is casing the houses when he arrives at Davina's house. When he looks through tyhe window he is in for a surprise.

 It turns out she is not what she seems. He decides to have some fun with her.

 He breaks in and gets a knife before waiting for Davina to reappear in the kitchen.

 When she sees him she tries to run but he calls her back with the threat of the knife.

He tells her to go and put on something more female then when she changes he gets her to get a of water. To do so she has to pass him.

Then he gets her to pour the water over her clothes soaking everything.

Next he makes her change into her office clothes.

He gets her to fill her tights with eggs before breaking them.

Then he gets her to pour custard over her clothes.

He tells her to put back on her clothes she was wearing to start with and clean up the water, eggs and custard by using some of her undies.

He even makes her take off her nice jumper to use to clean up.

 The last set of clothes is her nice new evening dress and new undies.

These he gets her to cut and rip to pieces.

Oh dear what a state she is as he leaves, laughing.

Dressember

The Splosh website started a Dressember for CD's to do something messy so I thought I ought to play the part. I decided Davina could do some cookery showing how to prepare a three course meal easily and with no mess (right!). We start with Davina in her best suit.

We start with some nibbles. Little sticks of celery with some ketchup dip and some mayo dip.

Opps. A bit too much but never mind it will wipe up and nothing on the suit.

 Next some cooked pasta in a tomato sauce. Plenty of sauce for that rich taste. Again a few drops on the floor but nothing on the suit.

 Now we start on the cake. A simple sponge base covered in two jars of raspberry jam. Followed by a block of ice cream. Then another sponge covered in two jars of lemon curd. Then another  block of ice cream topped with chocolate sauce. What could possible go wrong?

 A little ice cream on her new shoes (actually are new shoes bought especially for this sequence as a request from a viewer who also picked the clothes) but it soon wipes off.

 Next come the home baked bread. I left it proving in the oven but when I turned it out onto the floured board it seemed a little wet.

 Oh dear more on the shoes and some flour on the front of the skirt but most of it cleaned off.

 Now I made some whipped egg whites for a meringue and I will show you how stiff they are by holding the bowl over my head.

 Oh dear. I seem to have made a mess. Oh well in that case I might as well carry on and use everything.

What a mess. It took a long time to clear up the kitchen. Needless to say I got a bit more messy whilst doing it but that's another story.

Eggs

This dare required picking up ten eggs with my mouth and breaking them into a bowl on my lap whilst sitting on an unprotected settee. As you will see it didn't quite go as hoped and there was a bit of clearing up to do.

The party

You know by now I like stories to my filming and this is just such an occasion. I must apologise for the quality of the pictures as there was no artificial lighting this time.
Davina had held a party at her house and this was the morning after. She was dressed in her usual sluttly clothes and was on her way to the bathroom

As she lifted the toilet seat what a sight she saw.

(Don't panic, it's not real!!). What a mess someone had made of the toilet and now she will have to clean it.

Maybe she should have worn gloves!
Once the toilet was clean she headed downstairs to the kitchen. What a mess. Someone had been trying to cook last night and not cleared up.

Nothing else for it. Davina would have to clear this up as well.

All was going well until one of the eggs split and splashed over her skirt and stockings.

It also went all over the floor so she had to scrape it up into the bowl.

Then the bag of flour burst covering her legs and shoes in flour.

And it had gone all over her skirt. Time to try and scrape that off the floor as well.

As she stood up she put her hand on the open custard carton. It squirted custard all over the front of her skirt.

That was it. She had had enough. The clothes were ruined now so she just went mad with the remains of the soup over her head, the butter in her knickers and the treacle over her blouse.